The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
