and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
