dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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