It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize