he puts the penis in happiness.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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