Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
