im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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