Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
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