you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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