The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
