If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
