walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
