Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize