Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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