I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
pray to the hookup gods
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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