I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize