I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
