i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
The uberlube is also flammable
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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