I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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