spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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