No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize