then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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