If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you will always have a special place in my vag
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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