IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
