We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
