suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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