whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Gay?
German.
Pity.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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