Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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