as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
