she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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