evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
