The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
