we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
