I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
