Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
