brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
