I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
