What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
