Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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