Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
