Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I have post one night stand depression
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
