I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish i was in the wii world.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
