i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
should my penis look like a turkey
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
