So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
