he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
