I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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