Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
