I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
