i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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