I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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