i don't like sucking hair
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
