dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
