Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
