The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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