Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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