Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
