I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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