omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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