fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
